tømmermænd
by abigailhobbs
Summary: They came to Las Vegas for different reasons, yet they managed to end up in the same bed for the night, but they are not strangers. Not the best summary ever, I know. Phil/OC
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Hangover or any of its characters!

* * *

Overwhelming bass lines and reverberant drum patterns, clipped with violin strings of Lindsey Stirling sounded throughout the whole hotel room, as the young woman stood before the mirror, figuring out what to wear for her friend's birthday party. She had brought along three evening outfits. You know, just in case. Still not being satisfied though, she opened her suitcase once again. Her hips were occasionally swinging in tact to the music, as she surveyed her clothes her gaze suddenly fixed on her cream sleeveless lace dress, she had bought only a week ago and her dark blue slimming blazer. "Perfect", she said smiling. Once she was dressed and her make-up was done, she put on her brown high heels and checked her view in the mirror yet again. Not being quite the fan of make-up, she had chosen a rather natural look and her dark curls hung loosely over her shoulders. A moment later there was a knock on the door and her friend's voice sounded: "Julia are you ready?"  
"Just a sec!", the young woman shouted back and quickly stuffed everything she needed into her small handbag. Upon opening the door, she was greeted with a wide beam by her friend. "Wow. Look at you", Hannah exclaimed excited.  
Julia however waved her off. "Right. Now you ready to celebrate properly, birthday girl?", she checked, as she laced her arm with Hannah's.  
"Oh, you know me", she said, as they started walking down the hall. "I'm always in the mood to party."

"No. Sid", Doug exclaimed as his future father-in law opened the garage, revealing a shining silver Mercedes. "Really?"  
"Come on, we're family now", Sid reassured him and gave him a light pat on the shoulder. "You sure? I mean, you love this car", Doug checked again, as he admired the vehicle, his fingers slowly tracing the side of it.  
"Doug, it's just a car. Just make sure to put some Armor All on the tires so the sand doesn't seep in."  
"Absolutely. That's easy."  
"Oh, and, uh, don't let Alan drive…", Sid said, as both their heads turned to look at Alan, who was sitting in the front yard, kissing his dog. "Because there's something wrong with him. Oh, and Phil either. I don't like him", he added, shaking his head. "I will be the only one driving this car. I promise", Doug reassured him, smiling brightly as Sid tossed him the keys. "Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas", Sid joked and both of them chuckled. "Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with you", he then added in a more serious tone. Doug only nodded, before he loaded his and Alan's bags into the boot of the car. After having said goodbye to his future bride, Doug urged Alan that it was time to leave. They still had to pick up the others, before they would drive off into the weekend of their lifetime.

_Dark twisted fantasy turned to reality – kissing death and losing my breath_ – was blasting through the speakers as they entered the first bar. Julia quickly spotted the other girls Hannah had invited to the party and walked over. It had mostly been business women, like themselves. Julia didn't even know if Hannah communicated with women of a different profession as well. A few kisses were exchanged before they ordered the first round and some of them spread out in the room to go dancing. It didn't stay with one round of course and soon they were ordering their third, before they decided to change location. Julia was the only one who wasn't drinking though, as she had renounced alcohol a long time ago. There hadn't been a groundbreaking incident, she just made the decision for herself and had stuck to it ever since. As they reached their next location the dark haired woman immediately hit for the dance floor, but as soon as some guys tried to hit on her, she retreated to the bar. "Oi what's up with you?", Hannah slurred as she joined her at the bar. Her British accent now being more obvious than ever. "Nothing", Julia reassured her. "I'm just not in the mood for those immature guys… yet", she added and nipped on the Red Bull she had ordered. Hannah didn't say anything but only giggled, which caused Julia to laugh as well. "Where do you want to go next?"  
"Next?", Hannah asked in wonder. "You want to leave already?"  
Julia rolled her eyes, before she said: "This place is boring, I want to go somewhere exciting."  
"Like?"  
The dark haired thought for a second. "The _Hardrock_", she then exclaimed and Hannah's eyes lit up immediately. "Oh yes brilliant! Let's go there!"  
The cool night of Las Vegas was filled with giggles and laughter as they stumbled towards the _Hardrock Café._

"I'm just saying it's clearly marked, okay?", Stu pointed out, worry swinging in his voice. "We are definitely not supposed to be up here."  
"Come on, we're paying for a villa. We can do whatever the fuck we want. Just wedge the door open", Phil said and pointed at a huge brick. Using a ladder they climbed further up the roof. "How the hell did you find this place?", Doug wanted to know. Phil didn't answer though as he was already admiring the beautiful view over the city of Las Vegas. "Look at the view up here", Doug exclaimed as he joined him, as did Stu. "Wow. You kidding?"  
In the meantime Alan was preparing some drinks and then kind of dancingly walked over to them. "What do you got over there, Alan?", Doug wanted to know. "Uh-oh a little Jägermeister."  
"Um, no, this is good. I'd like to make a toast", Stu said, as Phil filled their glasses. "To Doug and Tracy. May tonight be… but a minor speed bump in an otherwise very long and healthy marriage." They toasted and then downed the first shots.  
"All right. I wanna talk about something", Phil started, but was cut off by Alan. "I'd like to say something… that I prepared… tonight." He then grabbed a piece of crumbled paper out of his pocket and started to read it. "Hello. How about that ride in? I guess that's why they called it Sin city. You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack, it grew by one. So were there two… So there were two of us in the wolf pack. I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later. And six months ago when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought: 'Wait a second. Could it be?' And now, I know for sure. I just added two more guys to my wolf pack. Four of us wolves running around the desert together in Las Vegas looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight… I make a toast", Alan finished his speech and suddenly held up a pocketknife, as the others backed a way. Without a second thought he cut right across the inside of his hand. "What is that?", Stu asked in shock. "Blood brothers", he simply answered and offered the knife to the others.  
"Alan, we're not gonna cut ourselves", Doug said sternly. "Give me the knife. Slowly. Thank you", he added, as Alan handed the knife over. "Okay. Thank you very much."  
"You all right? Are you okay? Do you need a doctor?", Phil wanted to know, as Alan held his hand against his mouth, but he simply shook his head no. "He's fine. He's good", Dough reassured him.  
"You sure?"  
"I'm good", Alan then added as well and Phil calmed again. "Perfect. Alan, come here, buddy", he said, as they formed a circle and hold up their drinks. "All right, to a night the four of us will never forget."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Hangover or any of its characters!

* * *

The sun shone through the huge window, illuminating the spacious living area of the suite. The bright light slowly tickled the young woman awake, who was lying upon a mattress on the floor. Her bare body was only covered with a thin blanket, which was also wrapped around the man's body beside her. She groaned slightly as the heat on her face increased. The young woman slowly flickered her eyes open, but regretted it immediately, as a sharp pain shot through her head. As she closed them again, a low groan escaped her lips once more and she turned on the improvised bed. She could make out footsteps and a door being opened and shut, but she didn't think anything of it, as she snuggled up against the body beside her. In the next moment – however – she was wide-awake, as there was a shriek and someone stumbled over them. A pained groan came from the man, before he exclaimed a "What the fuck?" and sat up, rubbing his tired eyes as he did so. "Control yourself, man."  
She was sitting up straight as well now and exchanging shocked glances with the man beside her, as her brain fiercely tried to put things in order – without avail. There was absolutely nothing and it scared her to no end. She hurriedly rose to her feet, pulling the blanket along, to cover her body. The sound of her name made her head snatch into the direction of the man, who had stumbled over her earlier. But she instantly turned again, as she saw that he was missing some pants. "Goddamn Alan, will you put on some pants?", the man with whom she most certainly had spent the night with, said.  
"Phil, do not go in the bathroom", Alan exclaimed.  
The name activated something in her brain, but she still could not point her finger on it, as her head was still spinning rapidly. What could have possibly happened last night, that made her question her entire existence?  
"Phil, there is a tiger in the bathroom", Alan then added, his voice above the normal level. "What's going on?", someone interfered and everyone turned to Stu, who was sitting at the trashed sofa. She slowly let her eyes wander through the apartment. It was a mess; no, a disaster. The room was completely trashed. Furniture broken, garbage and empty bottles scattered on the floor, there was even a chicken strolling around. She had never seen anything like it before. Her eyes then halted on the half naked man standing beside her once again. She eyed him up and down, before memory hit her like a hard punch in the face. _'No, it can't be'_, she thought.  
"There's a jungle cat in the bathroom!"  
"Okay, okay, Al. I'll check it out", Phil said, as he stood, trying to calm the situation.  
"Don't go in, don't go in", Alan chanted. "Be careful. Don't, don't."  
Phil sighed, but as he opened the door to the bathroom and quickly scanned the room, he jumped and closed it again. "Holy fuck! He's not kidding", he exclaimed half amused. "There's a tiger in there."  
In the meantime the woman had put on a black shirt she had found on the floor. Where were her clothes? As she buttoned up the shirt, she noticed a ring on her left hand; moreover, it was on her ring finger. '_Weird_', she thought, as she inspected the jewelry. She could not remember owning such a ring and then she wasn't married. "Who are you?" The question made her look up again. Phil stood in front of her. He had put on a blue shirt by now and his piercing blue eyes looked at her questioningly. She did not know why, but the question stung her deeply. She was about to answer, but Alan's laugh cut her off. "What do you mean? This is Julia, Phil. You don't remember Lia?"  
The sound of her old nickname made her prick up her ears and irritated her even more. "How…?", she swallowed. "Right. Would someone please explain what's going on here?" Silence spread out through the room, as no one really knew the answer to that question.  
"Julia?", Phil exclaimed then, as realization slowly struck him and his gaze slowly wandered towards the couch. 'Oh shit', he thought. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Yes", she answered, as Alan's laugh once again sounded as he strolled through the apartment. Her name sounded another time, she turned her head to see where it was coming from only to take a step back in shock. She was blushing immediately as the voice of her brother rose: "What the fuck are you doing here?"  
Julia shrugged her shoulder. "I… I don't know."  
Phil was about to say something, but was cut of by the sound of a mobile ringing. "That's mine. Excuse me", Julia said, before she quickly went to search for her phone. Still irritated Phil gazed after her, however in the next moment he shook his head, turning his attention once again on Stu. "You okay buddy?"  
"No. I am in so much pain right now", Stu answered, holding an ice pack against his lips. In the next moment - however, he threw it towards his friend, who ducked away in time, before it could hit his head. "What the hell, Phil? You FUCKED MY SISTER!"  
Phil indicated him with his hands to keep the noise level down. "We don't know that for certain, alright?"  
Stu looked at him confused. He wanted to add something but Julia was coming back from her phone call and sat down on the couch as well. "What the fuck happened last night?", she asked.  
"Where do you even come from?", Phil answered with a question.  
She sighed. "Well originally I came to Vegas to celebrate a friend's birthday, but for some reason I can't remember how I ended up with you guys."  
Stu's mind was racing. He wanted answers, and the fact that his sister had spent the night with his best friend didn't make things easier, but something else was interrupting his train of thought. "Hey, am I missing a tooth?", Stu then interposed.  
"I can't…", Phil started as he leaned in a bit, to be able to look at Stu's teeth. "Oh shit", he exclaimed then, covering his mouth to suppress a laugh.  
Stu looked at him in shock, before he grabbed for the silver plate and used it as a mirror. "Oh, my God. My lateral incisor's… It's gone!"  
"It's okay. Okay, okay. Just calm down. We're fine. Everything's fine", Phil tried to calm the situation, however it wasn't really working and Stu shot him a glare. "Alan, go wake up Doug. Let's get some coffee and get the fuck out of Nevada… before housekeeping shows."  
"Doug's here too?", Julia wanted to know, her voice taking on an excited pitch.  
"Yes", Phil answered. "It's his bachelor party after all."  
Julia's eyebrows rose at this new information. "Doug's getting married?" And as soon as the question had left her lips, her eyes wandered over to her brother in a 'why the fuck haven't you told me?' look. He understood, but only shrugged his shoulders. Well, she had been rather busy in the last weeks or rather year after all and this weekend was her first off in a long time. Her thoughts then drifted back to their school days and her expression saddened a bit. Phil studied her for a moment, as her expression clearly indicated that she was thinking about the past. When she came to the same high school as her brother, Julia had easily made friends with Doug and Phil as well. She had been a rather tomboy character which had made it even easier to get along with her. He had always looked back at those times with joy and he suddenly wondered how she had been doing. They hadn't really seen her much ever since she had moved to San Francisco. Though he could not linger on that thought for long, as Stu's irritated voice sounded again: "What am I gonna tell Melissa? I lost a tooth. I have no idea how it happened."  
"You're freaking me out, man. I got a massive headache, okay? Let's just calm down", Phil said, running a hand through his knotted curls.  
"How am I supposed to calm down? Look around you."  
"Hey, guys, he's not in there", Alan than interposed, as he came back into the living area. "Did you check all the rooms?", Phil wanted to know.  
"Yeah, I looked everywhere. Plus, his mattress is gone."  
"He probably went to the pool to get something to eat. I'll just call his cell", Phil suggested and fished his phone out of his pocket.  
"I look like a nerdy hillbilly", Stu then exclaimed as he still was looking at himself in the silver plate. Julia had to stifle a laugh, while Phil giggled slightly. As he finished dialing Doug's number the sound of a phone ringing suddenly erupted in the room. Julia sighed and ran a hand through her hair, as Alan started to look for the phone and picked it up. "Hello?"  
"Alan."  
"Hey", he answered in a confused tone.  
"It's Phil."  
"Oh, hey, Phi… This is Doug's phone", Alan then realized.  
Julia shot Alan a look. Absolutely bonkers. "Is that guy for real?", she whispered in Stu's direction. "Sadly yes", he answered, also whispering.  
"No shit!", Phil exclaimed annoyed and shut the phone close again.  
"Who is he anyway?", she then wanted to know.  
"He's Tracey's brother."  
Julia exclaimed an o-sound, as all of a sudden a baby started crying loudly. Everyone exchanged confused glances. "What the fuck is that?", Stu asked.  
A moment later they jumped to their feet and went to search for the baby. They found it locked away in a closet. "Whose fucking baby is that?", Phil wanted to know and everyone's eyes automatically fixed on Julia. "What are you looking at me for? It's not mine."  
"You sure?", Phil checked.  
Julia shot him an unbelievable glance. "Yes, Phil. I am _sure."  
_"Alan, are you sure you didn't see anyone else in the suite?", Stu then asked.  
"Yeah, I checked all the rooms. No one's here. Check it's collar or something."  
"Shh. Shh. It's okay, baby", Stu talked calmly to the little boy.  
"Stu, we don't have time for this", Phil stopped him. "Let's go hook up with Doug, we'll deal with the baby later."  
"Phil, we're not gonna leave a baby in the room!", Julia insisted. "There's a fucking tiger in the bathroom."  
"It's not our baby", Phil added and Julia shot him a look as if he were off his rocker. "Please tell me you are kidding."  
"Yeah, I gotta side with Julia on this one", Alan said and Stu added: "Yeah she's right. We can't leave it in here."  
Phil sighed. "All right, fine. Okay we'll take it with us. Could you at least just find some pants?", he said pointing at Alan, before he looked at Julia. "And you, find your clothes."  
Julia did as she was told and went to look for her clothes. She finally found them underneath a pile of cushions. How they even got there, she didn't know. After quickly popping into the bathroom to change and freshen up a bit, they were good to go. "I can't remember you wearing any dresses during high school", Phil said, as they stood in the elevator, on their way downstairs. "Phil!", Stu exclaimed and Julia rolled her eyes at him. "And you clearly haven't changed a bit, Phil." He smirked at that.  
"Why can't we remember a goddamn thing from last night?", Stu wondered once again. "Because we obviously had a great fucking time", Phil answered. "Why don't you just stop worrying for _one _minute. Be proud of yourself."  
The elevator came to a halt and an elderly woman joined them. She looked at the baby adorably and asked for his name. "Ben." "Carlos." Alan and Phil answered unison. Julia covered her eyes with a hand and leaned back against the wall in embarrassment.

They sat at a table in the crowded pool area and had ordered some breakfast, though neither of them was sure if they even could swallow a bite of it. Alan was laughing as he moved the baby's little hand up and done so that it looked like he was spanking his monkey. "He's jacking his little weenies."  
Julia rolled her eyes as she took a sip from her orange juice. Phil laughed. "Pull yourself together, man."  
"Not at the table, Carlos", Alan added, as Stu came back; he had been looking for Doug, but came back alone. "I looked everywhere", he said as he sat down. "Gym, casino, front desk. Nobody's seen Doug. He's not here."  
"He's fine. He's a grown man", Phil said in a calming tone. Julia however was slowly starting to freak out, but kept her mouth shut. "Seriously, Stu, you gotta calm down. Here, have some juice", Phil added, but as he put the glass in front of his friend, Stu turned and puked on the floor. "I can't have juice right now."  
"Okay. All right. Let's just track this thing", Phil suggested. "What's the last thing we remember doing last night?"  
"Well, the first thing was we were on the roof… and were having those shots of Jäger", Alan said.  
"And then we ate dinner at The Palm. Right?", Phil checked.  
Alan nodded. "That's right. And then we played craps at the Hard Rock, and I think Doug was there."  
"That sounds right. No, no. He definitely was", Phil said as he wrote everything down on a napkin. "Yes he was, 'cause that's the place we ran into each other", Julia added. "That's the only thing I remember though."  
"You know what, guys? I don't even remember going to dinner", Stu interposed.  
"What the fuck? I don't think I've ever been this hung-over." Phil leaned back in his chair and crossed his hands above his head, sighing.  
"After the Hard Rock, I blacked out. It was like emptiness", Alan joked, but nobody was laughing except him. Phil simply ignored his comment and moved on: "Okay. We have up until 10 p.m… so that gives us a 12-hour window where we could have lost him."  
"What is this?", Alan wanted to know as he found something in his pockets. He held it up to look at it and Stu exclaimed immediately: "Oh, my God. That is my tooth. Why do you have that? What else is in your pockets?"  
"This is a good thing. No. Check your pockets. Check your pockets", Phil suggested and they did, except that Julia checked her handbag, because her dress didn't have any pockets. There wasn't anything peculiar in it though.  
"Do you have anything?", Phil wanted to know.  
"I have an ATM receipt from the Bellagio. Eleven-oh-five for $800! I am so _fucked_", he freaked, throwing the receipt on the table.  
"I have a valet ticket form Caesars. Looks like we got in at 5:15 a.m.", Alan said.  
"Oh, shit. We drove last night?", Phil checked clearly shocked and Alan laughed. "Driving drunk. Classic."  
"Alan that's not funny", Julia pointed out as Stu faked his laugh.  
"What's on your arm?", Alan then wanted to know and pointed at a yellow wristband on Phil's right wrist. Phil shot him a confused look, before he checked his wrist. "What the fuck is that?"  
"Jesus, Phil. You were in the hospital last night", Julia said, as she leaned in to have a better look on the wristband as well. "I guess so, yeah."  
"You okay?", Alan asked.  
"Yeah, Alan. I'm fine."  
"What the hell is going on?" Stu once again freaked.  
"Well, Stu, Stu, this is a good thing. We have a lead now."  
"Hey, Stu, watch this", Alan suggested as he repeated the thing he had done earlier with the baby. Stu tried hard not to laugh, but then a chuckle escaped his throat. "Dude, Alan, not cool."


End file.
